Passionate Widows Extremely Friendly Society
Long Acre
London
Mr. Roger More
1 Wilby Avenue,
Staines,
Middlesex
Dear Mr. More,
Now that the country is in the teeth of the recession, and we are all feeling its bite, with confidence oozing away, we thought that we’d reach out to our truly special customers, wrap our willowy arms around you and draw you in to our welcoming embrace.
I fervently hope that by this stage in our relationship you deeply understand the many ways in which we value you, but I’m desperately keen to take nothing for granted in these hard times.
For the truth is that we need you more than ever, and we believe you need us. Mr. More, (can I call you Roger?) let me come, to the point. We crave your deposits, we hunger for them, we are not complete without them. Don’t misunderstand, Passionate Widows are still in rude health, but with your seed money, we are talking growth, and lots of it. And believe me, we know all about interest. I think you know what we’re talking about.
With all our love,
Verity Lovechild (Miss)
The Head of Customer Relations
